A few days after a video from his Philadelphia concert went viral, Noah Kahan stood in front of another crowd and made them recite a pledge: "I solemnly swear I will not shit my pants and if I do, I won't take it from my pants and put it on the floor." [1]
That actually happened. The tweet capturing it has racked up more than 17,000 likes. [1]
Here is the part the viral framing gets slightly ahead of itself on. A TikTok showed what The Independent called "the obscene aftermath" near the front of Kahan's Philadelphia show, and the outlet reports a fan "seemingly defecated on the floor." Seemingly. Nobody filmed the act, the video showed the result, and Kahan himself was reacting to the TikTok rather than to something he watched happen.
What is confirmed is his response. On Saturday 28 June, the "Stick Season" singer posted on X: "If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom lmao." He added that he's "pooped my pants as much as the next 29 year old," but asked fans to spare a thought for "a venue worker out there with a 1000 yard stare after dealing with that."
The timing is almost too good. Days earlier, Olivia Rodrigo told KISS Radio she had "smelled" front-row concertgoers wearing adult diapers to hold their spot, a practice she compared to people camping all day at the Times Square New Year's Eve ball drop. So Kahan's plea landed in the middle of a live debate about exactly how far fans will go to keep their place in the crowd.
It was also the second etiquette scolding Kahan issued in one week. He asked fans to stop stealing the Alger Brook Road sign in Strafford, Vermont, a street he named in "The View Between Villages," and offered to pay for replacements himself. "It is a total disrespect to the folks who live on that road," he wrote.
The Reddit thread, naturally, responded by rewriting his entire catalogue. One commenter reworked the "Stick Season" hook into "it's the season of the shits."
“i love noah kahan but it’s the season of the shits and i, saw the john, i forgot that it existed and it’s”
What remains genuinely unverified is what occurred on that Philadelphia floor, and who, if anyone, was responsible. What's certain is that an arena full of people promised, out loud, not to do it again.
Sources
Primary source: Noah Kahan begs fans to ‘go to the bathroom’ after audience incident
- Tweet by @tisthepamseason — @tisthepamseason · community
- Reddit comment by jude_fawley — jude_fawley · community
- Reddit comment by lcpm1992 — lcpm1992 · community
- Reddit comment by YetiPie — YetiPie · community
- Reddit comment by acidcrap — acidcrap · community
- Reddit comment by DopeAbsurdity — DopeAbsurdity · community
- Reddit comment by 1SneakyLilNinja — 1SneakyLilNinja · community
- Tweet by @KahanArchive — @KahanArchive · community
- Tweet by @rianaxrae — @rianaxrae · community